As The Dough Folds

SOURDough is watching the same story unfold in front of his eyes in stereo. The script is the same, but new characters have been inserted into the role of abused new guy, my previous position at the bread factory. Oddly enough, the new players in this story have come in the form of two women, replacing dear Olive and Pastry Monkey. The bread factory is no place for intelligence or wit, making Olive and Pastry Monkey fish out of water often. It’s the nature of the business, the truly smart, ambitious ones find their own paths, while the rest stay and make dick jokes for the next 20 years with their work buddies. The same dick jokes over and over again.


Olive got to meet Bella, an older hispanic women on her last day at the factory. They got along wonderfully, Bella a fountain of love and positive energy spilling onto anyone who chooses to cross her path and receive the light. She is a food service veteran, having been in the industry for over 20 years. She knows of all the pains and strains of repeating the same motions for hours every day for years. She has also dealt with the irrational ignorance of customers, fellow employees, and bosses who don’t deserve to hold the title of. Despite all this, she greets everyone with a smile and pleasant manner. She wants to make this work, and she is trying her hardest to see that is does.


Sally is more like SOURDough, a career changer looking for peace and an opportunity to do something she loves. She’s had a string of unsatisfactory, soul crushing jobs that can wear down even the biggest optimist. Sally is a home baker, a more enviable position to be in at the start. She is operating as a blank slate when it comes to bread. She will have much more to learn in the long run, but she won’t be burdened with a bread education that will put doubt and question into every move you make. You are taught to do things the right way in school, but it doesn’t mean it’s the only way. This is not the right way to do things on some levels, and Sally will learn the best way for her to get the job done.


As they are both new to their jobs, both Bella and Sally have suffered the slings and arrows of fellow employees, every mistake scrutinized and laughed at. They can be a catty, vindictive bunch, the lifers that work here. No time or patience extended to those that want to learn the daily routine, and those who they feel aren’t learning quick enough get banished to the mix room to do twists. SOURDough did twists for 7 months daily until Maxwell’s month long vacation forced them to train me on the roll machine. New employees are also subject to being the focus of new rumors, as I learned sharing lunch with Sally the other day. According to “sources”, I am sleeping with Sally because we choose to share lunch together. Amazing what can be said when people are bored with their lives.


So with knowledge of this fresh rumor in mind, let’s take it further, as we illustrate the season two plot summary for the scandal, intrigue, and betrayal that is the bread factory:


As The Dough Folds


Season one ends with Olive leaving on her motorcycle, heading to San Francisco to start her own bakery. SOURDough, crushed that he never had a chance to show his true feelings for Olive, goes on a sexual bender and beds both new interns, Bella and Sally on the same night. Tormented with guilt by his actions, he turns to religion and considers joining Newman’s newly formed Church of the Levain, based on the teachings of God and the holy sacrament of our daily bread.


Slim, fighting with insecurities about his own abilities as a baker, proceeds with his plan to sleep his way to the top, looking to take over the bakery. Along the way he shares an innocent kiss with Maggie, hoping to get others jealous around him.


Michael and Hussy continue with their love/hate relationship, until they end up on a stack of flour sacks consummating their wanton desires on a rainy afternoon. Frijoles, who has held a man-crush on Michael for years records the deed on his IPhone, hoping to blackmail Michael to get what he wants from him. Michael has no choice but to cave in to Frijoles naughty demands.


Pastry Monkey finally has had enough of Castro’s advances, and seeks out Albert’s advice as he is planning his own coup to take over the bakery after years of being ignored and passed over for promotion. With the help of the General, they rig one of the bread loaders to fly off it’s track, delivering a powerful groin shot that knocks Castro to the ground, crying for help. Monkey rubs poo on Castro’s forehead, walking out and vowing never to return to such a “treacherous, uncaring lot of animals”.


Mario, looking to soothe his constant caffeine cravings suffers from 3rd degree burns on his hands while jostling a stuck pump on the coffee urn. His dreams of being a masseuse dashed because of the nerve damage caused in the accident, he gets a position in the office where he can drink coffee at his leisure in a less hazardous environment. He also starts earning the respect of the others in the office due to his ideas during meetings.


Albert gets named CEO of the bakery after Jamie takes an unexplained 2 year sabbatical, and he demotes Slim to janitor after hearing of his takeover plot. Not giving up Slim proceeds with this plan, trying to seduce any manager he feels will promote him. Maggie catches Slim making out with one of the managers in the retail store, and in a rage returns with a gun and shoots Slim in the head, proclaiming ” No one will have you now! I’m the awesome one!”


Umm, yeah. Back to recipes next week……


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